She was sitting in the living room watching television when he walked in the front door.

“Hey,” John said.

“Hey,” LeAnna replied softly.

He set his bags down and kissed her on the cheek. “Where’s the baby?”

“Sleeping,” she answered.

John nodded. “Ok.” He got up, got his bags and went down the hall. He came back a few minutes later carrying a crying baby.

LeAnna looked up at him, stunned. “I can’t believe you woke him up.”

“I just got home,” John said, bobbing the baby in his arms. “I want to see my son.”

“It took me three hours to get him down,” LeAnna said, anger flashing in her eyes. She got up. “I can’t believe you.”

John started to hand the baby over when she stopped him. “No, you woke him up; you get him back to sleep.”

“LeAnna…” John started.

“No,” she said angrily and started to walk away.

John sat down on the couch, rocking his son. “What’s for dinner?”

LeAnna rolled her eyes and called out, “Lasagna,” over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen. She sighed and opened the oven, still stunned over how thoughtless John was to have awoken the baby.

After dinner, John said, “I have to run out somewhere, I’ll be back in a while.”

LeAnna nodded, clearing away dishes, and he left.

Later that night, John came in, clearly drunk and plopped down on the couch. LeAnna was nursing the baby on the other end. John looked over at them and inched his way down to them.

“That looks good…” he slurred with a drunken grin and set his head down on her leg. “Can I have some, Mommy?”

LeAnna inhaled a deep breath and pushed his head off her leg. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m horny,” he said.

She shook her head and got up. She carried the baby down the hall and as she was leaving the nursery, she ran into John. He laughed and picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” she seethed, but holding still as he walked, knowing that if she struggled with John in his drunken state, he would drop her.

“Ok,” John mumbled and tossed her on the bed in their room. He looked down at her with wide eyes and a grin.

“No,”LeAnna said and started to get off the bed.

John stopped her by getting on the bed over her. He kissed her cheek and moved down her neck.

She stiffened up. “No…get off me.”

“C’mon, babe, you used to like that,” he whispered in her ear and moved his hand up the outside of her thigh.

LeAnna’s body betrayed her by relaxing and she moaned softly. John kissed her and although she didn’t want to, she responded to his kiss and his touches.

A few hours later, the baby was crying. John rolled over to her and shook her.

“Baby crying,” he muttered.

sighed and got up. She grabbed a robe and went to the nursery. After she nursed, she went back into the bedroom to find John all sprawled out on the bed, not leaving her any room to get back in. She shook her head and walked out, deciding to sleep in the guestroom.

The next morning, LeAnna cooked John some breakfast and he left. She put the baby in his playpen and got John’s bags. After separating his laundry, she washed clothes and put it all away. John came back that evening and during dinner, he said he was going out with some friends and that he’d be back later. LeAnna just nodded and cleaned up the kitchen.

John came home late that night and crawled into bed beside an awake LeAnna. She wiped the tears off her face and fell into a fretful sleep.

The next day, John stayed in and his friends came over. They sat in the living room and played video games while LeAnna cleaned up around them. They were loud and the baby started crying, having been woke up from his nap.

“Baby crying, Le!” John said over the loud noise of the game.

She rolled her eyes and went to get him. While she was calming him down, she could hear them all the way into the nursery.

“Are we going to get something to eat?” one of his friends asked.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” John said and called out, “LeAnna! Babe, are you going to fix some lunch?”

LeAnna narrowed her eyes and carried the baby into the living room. She glared at John as she was holding their screaming son.

John met her gaze. “Well?”

That was when she decided she’d had enough. “John, do you love me?”

John’s expression went to confusion and the game made a ‘you lose’ sound. “Look what you made me do! I lost!”

“Who cares? It’s just a stupid fucking game!” she said and went to the television. She reached down to the game console and yanked out the power cord. “Answer me! Do you care about me?”

“Of course I do,” John said, confused. He got up and looked at her. “What the hell’s with all the questions?”

She ignored his question and asked, “Do you care about me like a man that cares about a woman or do you care about me as your baby’s mama?”

John looked at her even more confused. “What?”

She shook her head and handed over their screaming child. “I can’t take this anymore.”

John looked down at his son and watched LeAnna walk away. He heard the door slam and furrowed his brows together.

LeAnna leaned on John’s car and covered her mouth sobbing. John came out a few minutes later and went to her.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked, gently pushing her golden brown hair away from her face.

She turned red hazel eyes up to look at him and asked, “Do you love me?”

“Come on, LeAnna,” he said.

She sniffed. “I figured that’s what you’d say.”

“What’s this all about?” John asked.

She gulped and looked down. “I don’t know…I’m just…it doesn’t matter.” She said and walked back inside.

John went in after her.“LeAnna.”

She turned around. “Yeah?”

“Tell me what’s going on with you,” John said. When she didn’t answer he said, “There’s something wrong here and if you don’t tell me what it is, I can’t fix it. So talk to me.”

LeAnna looked up into his blue eyes and said, “I’m not happy.”

With that, she walked away, leaving John with a confused look on his face.

That night, LeAnna was in bed, laying there awake with her eyes closed. John got in behind her and laid on his elbow, looking down at her.

“Babe, I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered and pulled her hair back off her face. He set a small box down on her nightstand, kissed her cheek softly and rolled over.

She opened her eyes and saw the box. She sighed silently and closed her eyes again to try to go to sleep.

The next morning, when she woke up, she found John sitting up in bed with the baby, softly cooing him and feeding him from a bottle. She sat up and looked at him. That was new.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I thought I’d let you sleep a little longer,” John said. “He was hungry, so I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge for him.”

“Did you warm it?” she asked.

“Yeah, in some water on the stove,” John said. “I remember Mom saying microwaves are bad for heating up baby bottles.”

LeAnna nodded. “Yeah, they are.”

“I got you a little something,” John said. “Look on your nightstand.”

She looked, saw the box and opened it. Inside was a diamond heart necklace. “It’s pretty. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” John said. “It’s an apology to you. I don’t know what I did, or um, anything, but I’m going to try to do better.”

LeAnna nodded and got out of bed. She tossed the box into her jewelry box, already loaded with his ‘apologies’, and walked out of the bedroom.

After breakfast, John said, “I have to go to the gym. I’ll be back right after.”

“Ok,” LeAnna said and he left.

True to his word, he was home right after he was through at the gym. He sat on the couch and watched television while LeAnna cooked dinner and took care of the baby. After dinner, she put the baby down and curled up on the opposite end of the couch with a book. John didn’t say a word to her.

The next day, John had to go back on the road. He kissed his son’s forehead and kissed LeAnna’s cheek before leaving. He was gone five days. The telephone didn’t ring once.

The night he came home, the baby was sick and crying with an ear infection.

“Can you please quiet him down so I can get some damn sleep?” John asked her as he came into the nursery.

“He’s sick!” LeAnna exclaimed. “His ear his hurting. What do you expect me to do?”

“I don’t know,” John said. “Just do something.”

LeAnna narrowed her eyes and carried their son down the hall into the bedroom, seeing John getting back into bed. She looked at him, slightly bouncing the baby in her arms.

“Le, please!” John groaned. “I am so tired.”

“Do you not think I’m tired too?” she shot back. “He’s been like this for two days!”

John exhaled a deep breath. “What can I do?”

“Will you hold him while I get his baby Tylenol?” she asked.

“Yes,” John said and held his arms out.

LeAnna put the screaming child in his arms and went into the bathroom. She went back into the bedroom and found it quiet. John had lay down and put the baby on his chest with his hands over him in a protective way, one on his back and the other on his diaper.

She gulped. Both of their eyes were closed. She gave her son some medicine and sat the bottle down on the nightstand. She raced down to the den and grabbed the camera. She came back and snapped a picture, then sat down on the edge of the bed watching them sleep. She decided not to wake them and sat down in an armchair near the bed. Soon she fell asleep.

The next morning, the baby woke them both up. John awoke startled and looked down to see his son still lying on his chest.

“Le…” he said.

“I got him,” she said and picked him up. She sat back down in the chair and started nursing him.

John rolled over on his side and watched. He rubbed his eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

“I love this baby, ya know,” John said and gently touched the back of his son’s head.

“I know,” LeAnna whispered. After the baby nursed, she changed him and put him in his playpen.

She fixed him breakfast and he left. He came back that afternoon asking for dinner.

LeAnna exhausted from taking care of their ill son, taking care of the house and washing John’s clothes, took one glaring look at him and screamed. John’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

She took off out the door. John came out right after her and saw her as she slid down the side of his car and started sobbing. He went to her and squatted down in front of her.

“Le, what’s wrong?” he asked, pushing her hair off her face.

She turned her eyes up to him and asked, “Am I your girlfriend or your baby’s mama slash maid slash cook?”

“You’re my girlfriend,” John said.

“Then why am I being treated like the hired help?” she sniffed and went on. “Why am I being ignored?”

“I don’t ignore you,” John said.

“Bullshit,” she said. “When you’re on the road, you don’t call. When you’re home, you’re not even really home – you’re out or you have your stupid friends over that make a mess I’m expected to clean up. You only pay me any attention when you’re either hungry or horny or you need clean clothes. I can’t take it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” John asked.

“Things need to change around here…” she motioned between them. “and right here or I’m going to leave and take my son with me.”

John looked at her stunned. She lifted up off the car and walked back inside. John leaned on the car on his elbows with his head in his hands. A few minutes later, John went back inside.

“Le, what do you want me to do?” he asked.

She wiped her face off and looked at him. “Does it even matter to you that I’m fucking miserable?”

“Yes it matters to me,” John said.

“You have a strange way of showing it,” LeAnna said.

John put his hands on his face, frustrated. “I’m fucking lost!”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I have no idea how to do this!” he said. “We weren’t even together a month before you got pregnant. Then all of a sudden – boom, I’m a father. I wasn’t ready to be a dad. I wasn’t ready to be a husband. I wasn’t ready for any of this, Le!”

“You’re not my husband,” she said.

“I might as well be,” John said. “I’m out there working, busting my ass to take care of you and our son. I try the best way I know how to make you happy, Le.”

“How?” she asked. “How do you try your best? Buying me shiny trinkets and handing over money?” She licked her lips and said, “I don’t need any of that shit, John! I only need you!”

John looked at her and gulped. “I’m so lost, Le. I’m so confused. I don’t know what I’m doing or what to say or how to make things better.”

LeAnna’s face softened. “I’m lost too. I wasn’t ready to be a mother or a wife.”

“Tell me what I can do to make things right,” John said. “Let’s work this out. I don’t want to lose you, Le.” He took her into his arms. “Please don’t leave.”

LeAnna raised her face up and kissed him. “We’ll figure things out. I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Just tell me what to do,” John said. “I’ll try my damnedest to make this work. I want this to work.”

“I want it to work, too,” she said and closed her eyes, leaning her head on his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Le,” John said and squeezed her as tightly as he could. “I promise from now on, things will be better.”

LeAnna smiled and said, “Ok,” somehow knowing this time, he meant it.